A while ago I was thinking about romantic relationships.
My thoughts largely revolved around a something of a mindset that I had somehow adopted. Perhaps through mainstream media or some other means. I like to call it the “perfect” trap.
The perfect trap
It’s this notion that exists within the human mind that plays out by rendering them incapable of making a decisive choice or action, so that they don’t miss out on the “perfect” opportunity.
And the application in relationships goes along the lines of: “This girl is awesome, but she’s not perfect. And as a result, I’m not going to engage in any romantic relationship with this person because I don’t want to miss out on finding the perfect person.”
Or maybe it’s a lady who doesn’t want to date someone less than perfect, because she is moving to a different department and believes she will find someone more better there. Someone perfect.
Seeing it for what it is
Besides the hurdle that it sets for decision making, this mindset it dangerous.
This mindset in its own is a form of idolatry, because it places greater emphasis on the gift than the giver of the gift. We become the judge of every gift that God gives us, and often shunning them forgetting that God knows what is best for us.
Mainstream media, coupled with social media has lead us to believe that people are living perfect lives, and that we can, and “have” to do the same. All of a sudden, God’s good and perfect gifts (James 1:17) given out of his kindness & mercy are no longer good enough because they make us look like less than we want to portray ourselves as.
This mindset absorbs us to fit in to the vicious world of most likes, most posts, most followers, most mentions.
The beautiful alternative
I believe in every relationship, romantic or otherwise, there is a necessary intersection between grace and opportunity where a beautiful relationship can begin with a less than perfect person.
It is at this inflection point where neither person has any deal breaking character flaws. Leading to the decision to pursue this person as a friend or mate, and as you love and serve this person and lift them up to God – You will witness them becoming the perfect person – a person refined into the image of Christ.
This trap can affect all areas of your life. Maybe it’s not wanting to take up a certain job opportunity because you believe you’ll miss the perfect one, or perhaps it’s not being sure what meal to order so that you don’t take up too much space.
In whatever area of our life this mindset tries to develop. We should kill it.
